Family Melt down moments! ;)


With fathers day around the corner and as my last blog stated my next book Idea would be about eating our way back to health in honor of a promise I made to my step father on his death bed, I must share that since his announcment of caner in April of 2011, my “food for thought” has never been the same.

As  I pondered back in time as to how my truly intellectual parents raised us girls, and how mother put a lot of time, thought and dedication into the details of most our meals, excect her single mom years when she worked. We fended for ourselves, with her leaving behind simple food idea’s and on a tight budget; meals of canned mushroom soup with white crackers, or fried bologna sandwhiches with pickels and chips that my big sis would throw together, (keep in mind we grew up without the invention of the microwave, ((probably a good thing)).

I then realize that step dad was the provider by godly order and a call he took on with care and pride. He was a generous, kind, loving, dedicted man that simply worked without complaint and made sure to keep food on the table and a roof over our head no matter how hard the times were. He NEVER ever made my mother feel that she had to work outside the home to help contribute finically and he never made us kids feel bad either. I can remember as a young girl brining him thermoses full of hot soup and coffee while he was bundled up in his winter gear pumping gas and selling cigarettes at the nearest gas station.  This kind of dedication taught respect and love to my heart and I couldn’t be prouder of him. He did what it took to give my mother the opportunity to be home with us girls and that to me was one of life’s most precious gifts! ❤

I was most thankful that mom did NOT HAVE to work but could if it suited the family.  It was a family decision, a well thought out process that they both did with all the family’s needs taken into consideration. When we truly think of our necessities vs our wants and selfish desires, this is the key to ‘what is best for all involved’.  I am no way against both parents working.  I am against  however mothers and or fathers putting a pay check, career status or selfish dream over thier children! It’s so degrading to the family unit to put pride and carnal desires over our true call and godly design of the family! I see broken family units constantly, mine included. You see we can try to do our utmost best, try to follow the godly order, and put our hearts desire inline with Gods, but still the ways of the world and the lust of the flesh can and still does wreak havoc on this beautiful design of the family unit that God has so graciously considered to be HIS most precious gift in all of HIS creation! ❤

We are  human people, we truly do and will mess up! I have always drempt of being a mommy, (and a nana was and is such a awesome bonus)! I have had the oppoutninty to be an at home mother, and I have been in a single mother postion working outside my home to provide for my daughter.. then came three.. 😉

So I do realize both ends of the spectrum. I have also taken the time to educate myself while my girls were being educated. I have cracked open my dreams and mad many of them come true; I have cetificates, diploma’s, degree’s,  a practitioner license, a ministry license, I have reached a level of ordainment, and I’ve finally published some books.  I’ve contibuted to the mission field- helped build a church in my home away from home Belize; I will have a healing B&B there soome day because that is what God has placed upon my heart! HE PUT IT THERE- so where God gives vision He gives provision. I do not share any of this to brag, because not one of these levels of accomplishment mean a darn thing if I do not put my family first and if I do not LOVE Then unconditionally.  So I do realize that my biggest most precious accomplishment is that of MOTHER! My most valued certificates are my three precious girls birth certificates! NOTHING is or EVER will be more precious to ME!! Well now the precious gift of nanahood, that’s pretty darn awesome too! ❤

With all that shared and said, I have so graciously been lucky enough in the past 20 years to be able to put them first. I have worked many jobs and had many positions during this mommy journey but have also been able to stay home with them when needed. I have always PUT THEIR NEEDS BEFORE MY OWN.  Especially my sanity! I have suffered many years of neglect and abuse by my lovely family.. (My kindness gets mistaken for weakness on many occasions)  and then my kindness evaporates and I have exploded many of these times at them. NOT the ideal way to deal with family. Sadly this is a pattern of many mammas.  Definlty not a proud mamma moment, but a mamma melt down moment to be aware of: Take Caution to my new  house rules:


So I guess since it is fathers day weekend I would just use this moment to thank all the hard working, dream sacrificing daddy’s making mother hood easier without guilt ridden words or degration to the mamma’s that sacrifices for their family on a daily basis!

Most importantly I want to thank My Father God and my two daddy’s for brining me up in love, respect and honor of What God has ordained the family unit to be..  And yes I realize that we are also brought up in mistakes and meltdowns so let’s just thank God for being the super glue that bonds us together even in our brokenness!


*p.s. please lift my real father Dennis Smiley up in prayer for he has suffered a stroke while visiting family in Arizona.  Bob and I  and other family members intend to fly out there soon to be with him during a stent surgery. All is well & God is good! ❤